Pastoral Counseling & "Confronting Sin"

I am a fan of Twitter. It's a neat way to get succinct information from people that interest you or from your friends. I like Facebook for the more in-depth communication and sharing that it allows with people you love and that love you.  The danger, especially with Twitter, is that you have a limited number of characters to get your point across.  I've seen a few quotes or snippets that make me go, "Oh my goodness" - and not in a good way.  I had that experience this morning.  I saw a retweet from Crossway books that contained one line from a blog post called Worship Distorted by Bill Clem of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA, that made me say "Oh my goodness" - not in a good way.

First I need to say that I like Bill Clem. I've heard some of his teaching and read other blogs that are good and spot on.  I'm not saying that this blog isn't good either. I'm going to specifically talk about one line and my concerns.

The quote in question is, "One hundred percent of your pastoral counseling will involve identifying and confronting idols."  To be fair, there is only a small portion of the book from which this came posted and it's specifically addressing the character of God.  My fear? That single line will be re-tweeted and pastors without a solid understanding of counseling will use it and harm their sheep.

I get really nervous about pastoral counseling resources that advocate "confronting sin" out of context (and again, I'm NOT saying this one does - I haven't read it so I can't comment on that book specifically).  It is important to address areas of sin in a counseling situation, but there is way more to counseling than confronting "sin and idols." And even when sin needs to be addressed there are a myriad of ways to do so that aren't outright confrontation.

I have seen far too many pastors take the concept of "confronting sin" and use it to harm their flock.  They berate people, shame them, and generally beat them down in an effort to get some sort of behavioral change.  If sin is a heart issue - and the Bible clearly says that it is - then shaming someone into behavioral change is inefficient at best and downright harmful at worst.  Even if behavioral change can be achieved through shame and guilt, the heart is still the problem and that heart issue will manifest itself in another way.  For example, an alcoholic may be shamed into giving up booze; however, he/she may adopt another addiction, such as food, to provide the same temporary comfort. The exterior behavior is more socially acceptable, but the heart is just as broken.

Good biblical counselors don't overlook sin at all - but they also don't attack the person they are counseling.  They don't use shame or manipulation to achieve behavioral change.  The first thing they do is provide grace - through providing a safe place where the counselee can be him/herself and be messy.  Good biblical counselors work to establish a grace-filled relationship with the counselee before any sort of confrontation is made.  Ironically, confrontation may prove to be wholly unnecessary as the counseling process takes place. In fact, counselees may identify and repent of the sin as God uses the counseling process to effect change.  When confrontation is appropriate, the good biblical counselor knows how to do so using the most appropriate technique - which may or may not be direct.

Pastors would do well to take a good counseling course or two to learn more about the actual process of counseling.  There is so much more to it than telling a church member what he/she needs to do or pointing out areas of sin (although those things are valid and have an appropriate place).  Pastors who engage in counseling relationships would be quite wise to be well-grounded in solid counseling technique in addition to solid gospel theology.  True biblical counseling should include both a solid theology and a solid counseling methodology.

In summary, I have no disagreement with the statement that pastoral counseling has a lot to do with dealing with idolatry; however, pastors really need to know what appropriate and grace-centered counseling looks like and not just be - as I've heard said out loud by pastors - "fruit inspectors."  Above all the Holy Spirit needs to be in control of the whole thing since He is the true Counselor and we are but instruments to be used for God's glory in the counseling process.