Whoo, even that title alone can bring controversy.
I grew up in an era where parents didn't necessarily have "the talk" with their kids. Talking about sex with your kids is scary; you don't want to send the wrong message and it's not easy to determine the right words. Also, in the 1980s evangelical climate sex education by parents was something along the lines of "don't do it til you're married." It was made to seem (a) mysterious and off-limits and (b) gross. Of course, when you hit puberty and are feeling all these things for the first time, you don't really know what to do with it all. Add to that the main societal message that sex is your right with whomever, wherever, and you can come to the conclusion that sex outside of marriage is no big deal. Also, sex is physically pleasurable.
There, I said it. Sex feels good; in the moment it may even be emotionally pleasurable. We are made that way; however, God intends that this pleasure to be experienced only within marriage and many of us choose to ignore that. In the moment it may seem fun and quite harmless, but there is always harm from sin, even when it's not overt like an STD or unplanned pregnancy. There is always an emotional/spiritual toll.
I'll give some of my own experience. I didn't wait for marriage. I thought I had found "Mr. Right." We were "engaged" and after dating for a few months, when I was 17, I gave up "the goods." It wasn't what I thought it would be. It didn't at all fill the gaping hole that was desperate for love. What I ultimately found was shame. I felt guilty as all get out because I knew what I was doing was wrong. I pushed those feelings down because I wanted to feel loved.
You see, sex was a means to an end - a desperate attempt to feel loved and connected; to be fully known and yet fully loved.
Physical intimacy is a beautiful, God-ordained part of the marriage covenant. Read Song of Songs and tell me it doesn't make you blush! Physical intimacy outside of marriage cheapens something so beautiful.
But even more than cheapening a beautiful gift from God, we will never find the love and connectedness we desperately need outside of God. No man can "complete" me - it's a lie from the pit. I need to be secure in Jesus and His crazy amazing love for me. He fully knows me, and yet fully loves me. He loves me so much He died so we could be together forever. He is my knight in shining armor.
So what's different now? Why would I wait? Do I just hate sex? I would wait because I know I'm worth waiting for. My worth and value are not what I give with my body; my worth and value are in who I am in Jesus. I'm the daughter of a King - the King of Kings, to be exact. I am already fully known and fully loved - I don't need that from a guy.
Look, I'm not a sex hater. In fact, one day I'd like to get remarried and have sex again (SHOCKING!!!). I just want to do it God's way. Jesus made me precious and any man that cannot see that and only sees me for the physical pleasure he can get is absolutely not worthy of my gift of intimacy. Period.
What are your thoughts? Anyone got a different perspective?
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