Being the Odd Woman Out

A friend of mine and I were talking once about being a square peg in a round hole. I tend to feel like this often, especially when I'm outside my comfort zone. He said he likes being the odd man out. I'm not sure I said it directly to him, but I kinda thought he was crazy.

I've been the odd woman out many times. In fact, I've joked that I am, at times, God's personal guinea pig. He puts me in situations that not only foster my growth, but the growth of someone else. These situations are never easy or lightweight. Often, they're life-changing moments. I'm better with this than I used to be, thanks in large part to a gracious God. I've learned that being the odd woman out can be awkward, it can be good, or it can be both. Today, I got both.

I'm at a conference, at which I'll be speaking tomorrow morning. I tripped and fell into this conference. I got a call for abstracts, I had an opinion about the topic, and I provided an abstract. Never in a zillion years did I think that I'd get selected.

I got selected.

It's a conference unlike any I've ever experienced. Most people know each other and have been coming for  years. About two thirds are old enough to be either my parent or my grandparent. I'm much more rock and roll, and these folks are - shall we say - hymnal. My first experience yesterday was that of being met with skepticism and awe. Awe because my presence was so fully unexpected. I was asked several times, "How did you get here?" It wasn't hostile, but genuine curiosity.

I left yesterday genuinely worried about what the next two days may hold. It was kind-of like I was T-Rex and everyone wanted to take a look. Since I suck at keeping a low profile and I'm constantly thinking and wondering (hello - I'm in research!) I was engaging in the sessions in which I participated. So this morning I thought, "Okay, I guess we're going for odd-woman-out awkward for this one."

I was only partly right.

Yes, I'm an anomaly, but to most with whom I've spoken a GOOD anomaly. In the first session today we were talking about medical and pharmaceutical ethics. I asked questions and provided my opinion. Of course, I wasn't the only one! We had some incredible discussion as a group! I moved on to my next session intellectually stimulated with knowledge I can bring back to my day job and to (hopefully!) future counseling practice!

The second session was much more diverse in age and style. I sat next to a dude with "end slavery" on his bracelet. I liked that guy instantly. He also had long hair and was wearing jeans. Anyway, the topic was assessing spirituality in counseling. It was some of my favorite topics combined - research, Jesus, counseling, and theology. I actively participated in that session, and (not gonna lie) was kinda fired up. I wasn't the only one, but I do have my own brand of fired-up-ness. I had the chance to talk with the speakers afterward - they are some incredible minds. Again, I took much back with me for thought and learning.

By the final session of the day, we were talking about pharmaceutical compounding and its risks and what sort of oversight is needed. Before the session, the chair came over and introduced himself to me. He had remembered me from the initial morning session. He thanked me for coming. He thanked me for my questions and my opinions. He was genuinely glad to have me at the conference and in his session. I had three other people come and say the same thing to me. I got to have some amazing, intellectually stimulating conversations about amazing things with some really incredible thinkers and people.

On the way out to my car at today's end I was stopped by a woman who was in the medical sessions with me. She asked me, "How did you get here?" when finding out my affiliation. I smiled and told her my story. We had a great talk about ethics and medicine and research.

Yes, it was awkward to be asked (again) how I got here, but it was good because I am different. I am the odd woman out here, but that's not exactly a bad thing. I've learned so much in the past 24 hours that I'm excited to share with people and that is helping my own personal, spiritual, and professional formation - I'll take being the odd woman out. Like my friend, I may just find out that I like it.