On the Job (Ministry) Training

So in the last blog I wrote about what my job has taught me about Christ and how it points me to the gospel.  Today's topic - how my job has prepared me for ministry.  There, all my cards are out on the table. You know where I'm going.

This blog was prompted by a particularly painful conference call. I had to be the bad guy and say some things that were way less than popular. Honestly, that's the life of QA.  People love you when you swoop in to fix some problem (that they knew about, yet failed to tell you) and hate you when you tell them the process they love isn't working. I'm not sure I've ever been in between. I either have folks telling me they love me and buying me plants or telling me they hate me and that I can't possibly understand what they're going through.

Sounds like the life of someone in vocational ministry, no?

I know many pastors and pastor's wives and other ministry leaders who would describe their lives exactly that way. When the pastor steps in during a crisis and is able to, by the grace of God, be helpful, he is lauded and loved.  When a pastor's wife is able to hear something in a counseling session and hone in on the heart of the matter, by wisdom from the Holy Spirit, and God uses it to open the counselee's eyes and heart to the truth she is loved and respected.  Conversely, when a pastor speaks a hard truth that some in the congregation don't like, he is vilified (or gossiped about).  When a pastor's wife won't be your best friend because to do so would be unhealthy for you because you are trying to get a need met that should only be met by Jesus, she is scorned and said to be "cold."

The first time I encountered conflict as part of my job I was nearly undone.  I didn't expect the attack to be quite as vicious and certainly not personal.  It went a little something like this - I find a discrepancy.  The response I got was something like, "How dare some person - a 24-year-old person at that - say that something isn't correct? Doesn't she know what it's like to perform this function? Clearly she is an idiot."  My thought (that I quickly learned to never say out loud in a high stress situation) - "This is business, right? I'm just telling you what the regulatory requirement is and where your documentation was missing some elements (or missing all together).  Let's just fix it and move on."  I was blown away.  Then, after a particularly contentious project was completed, the department we were helping gave me a plant. I actually checked it to make sure it wasn't ticking because I thought they might be out to get me.

The two scenarios - vocational ministry and QA auditor don't sound dissimilar do they?  Simultaneously loved and hated.  I've been at this job for awhile now (closing in on 12 years) and I've been serving in various ministry capacities about as long.  I've seen God grow me in my ability to minister effectively through teaching me in very real on-the-job training.   Don't misunderstand, any capacity I have for effective ministry is from Jesus Christ Himself. What I'm saying is that He has used my job to grow and change me and teach me how to deal with people.

My automatic default, my propensity, is to be a people pleaser. Had it not been for my job I'm pretty convinced that may never have been broken (and yes I know that God can do whatever He chooses, but He used this).  I still struggle with it, but not like I did when I was in my early 20s.  I'm much more comfortable now with relational conflict.  I'm much more comfortable with hearing people and not thinking I have all the answers or I need to pretend to have all the answers so people will think I'm smart or whatever.  I can walk forward, do what needs to be done, treat others well as we do it, and not take that hateful e-mail you just sent after that brutal teleconference personally.  I can look at it from your perspective, search my motives (with God's assistance), and decide if I need to do something differently or work through something with you.

In this regard, what makes me good at my job makes me effective in ministry.  It's much more challenging to get me to take something personally in a ministry setting than it would have been 12 years ago.  I'm not saying that personal attacks don't hurt, they do, but I'm learning more and more to not take them personally.  I'm not going to say that I get this right all the time because I don't, but I'm far better off than I was because God has given me amazing experiences through my job that prepared me well for sitting with people and walking through the muck and mire with them.  Even when it means I'm going to take a couple shots in the process.

So if you're asking yourself, "What is her point?" I'll tell you.  I don't view a divide between what I do for my profession and what I do in ministry - the secular and the sacred. It's all sacred because God goes with me where I go. Not only do I get to be a representative of Christ in my workplace, I also get to be refined by Christ through my workplace. 

One day I may end up in vocational ministry, but even without that I'm still in ministry. Let's consider Romans 8:28 for a moment. God does work all things together for good for those who are called according to His purpose.  We apply that verse to tragedy and crisis - as well we should - but it also applies to my LIFE. The whole thing. And God works all things including my job for good - both to bless those with whom I work and to refine me.  My job is as sacred as the ministries in which I'm involved.  The people here are no less precious to my Creator than those in my church.  I'm just much better prepared to deal with both because of the work God has done in me through my vocation. 

I would challenge all of us to take a look at the job we perform and ask God what He can show you about Himself and how He has used it to refine you.  You might well be surprised at what you find.

Auditing & the Gospel

For a living I listen to and help address people's problems. Not only do I do that, but I also routinely identify the problem that we need to work on. I'm not a therapist (though I believe I've been fantastically prepared by God to head in that direction). I'm an auditor. Not of the numbers sort - that would just about undo me. I don't have to deal with financials, thank you Jesus.  No, I audit in clinical research. Specifically, I make sure that the appropriate ethics and laws are followed in order to protect people who take experimental medications or use experimental devices.

I've been doing this a long, long time. Just under one-third of my life.  I will say that the vast majority of doctors that conduct clinical research do a good job.  The things I find during an audit are relatively minor and a result of a misunderstanding, not keeping good records, or benign human error.  After doing lots and lots of audits over the years, I've learned that there is just about nothing new under the sun. I've written the same findings numerous times.  I'll be honest in that it can get a little frustrating to have to write the same thing. Again. Sometimes for a person you've already said that to once. Or twice. Or maybe even more (the adage "if it wasn't documented, it wasn't done" applies here - some people just have a tough time keeping good notes, though they do the procedures fine).

I used to get really frustrated and angry at the people who didn't "get it right."  That is until God started opening up the gospel to me.

There are more than a handful of times that God has had to write the same finding over and over for me.  And He never says, "Geez, I wish she'd get it already." He just keeps on loving me, showing me my heart, and offering to complete necessary corrective action for me.  We're all like that, to be honest.  I mean, the nation of Israel serves to show us a series of the same audit findings over and over and over again.  As Matt Chandler says, there are only a couple chapters of good stuff in the Bible before it all goes wrong and sin enters the picture.  Then the findings of idolatry and pride start to show up. And God corrects His people. And they do okay for a minute. Then there they go again. Corrective action (humility, dependence on God) out the window and back we go to the same findings. Again.  And again. And again.

The gospel reminds me that I desperately need Jesus. I can't take the corrective action needed in my life. He has to take it for me, through the power of His Spirit. With each repeat finding, I'm reminded of my need and His patience.  Over time, He works the corrective action out. Theologically speaking this is "sanctification."

This understanding has changed the way I consider repeat audit findings. I'm a lot more compassionate and much less prone to groan about writing the same words. Again. Instead, I try to help educate people, help them understand the rationale for the corrective action, and effect real, lasting change.  It's also an opportunity to love them like Jesus loves me.

I'm a firm believer in that God uses all things for His glory, including our jobs. In my years in this industry (about 16 all together) I've learned a lot about Jesus through the circumstances I've encountered and the skills I've learned.  I'm thankful that Jesus shows me more of Himself through the profession He gifted me for and in which He placed me.